The beauty of consistency
Servant (1880) | Jules Joseph Lefebvre (French, 1836–1911)
No matter what the other "new-age online spiritual girlies" are saying about consistency, you need to develop consistency and discipline. (they often say it's "dogmatic" for someone to recommend consistency in daily efforts.)
One way you can nourish your relational field with your husband/lover is by taking time for yourself. Consistency in developing a spiritual practice where you take out time each day for a set amount of time to give your nervous system space to decompress and relax, space to breathe, space to feel and let all the energy "loose" that has accumulated over the day especially if you have a fast-paced very social life/job. This is a time to observe yourself rather than be enmeshed in yourself by giving yourself space to observe your thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
From this set practice, which can be as absolutely simple as 5 minutes **every** day you sit down criss-cross and just breathe, you can begin developing other important foundational practices that are spiritual & necessary for a devotional, loving relationship. It doesn't need to be prayer/mantra if that is too far out of reach for you as a daily practice. Establish a calm, consistent space.
It is only from this space that your shakti can emerge; creational powers, destructional powers, alchemical powers, nourishing powers, etc.
Your brain creates neuropathways that become deeper and more "set" in their pathways (which show fixed habits, emotional patterns, thoughts, beliefs, actions, etc). It takes consistency and repetition to create new neuropathways and to strengthen them so that old neuropathways can die off.
You need spaciousness to observe yourself to identify the traits you wish to change and alter, moving out of circumstantial energy and into being a creator of your life. Intention and focused consistent and disciplined action of fruitful behaviors and habits you repeat again and again create the new neuropathways in your brain that are required to "become" a new person. This new person is the you who holds all your desires because you have become her multi-dimensionally. And you have used your Shakti to “destroy” all that was preventing you from creating/becoming the one whose desires are complete & fulfilled.
All of this leads to understanding why consistent, repetitive actions are important for your relationship when you come into a relational conflict.
When you are in a hyperaroused, dysregulated state, (which conflict can induce) your sympathetic nervous system has become activated, and your brain and consciousness are acting in flight, fight, fawn, flee responses. Your body is moving on instinct, on primal survival-based intuitive responses which are self-protective. This is completely antithetical to the relational field because it has collapsed from "we/us" to "me/I".
This is why training yourself, in every sense of what that word means, **training** yourself, with focus, intention, and clarity, is the goal. You will learn to hold the consciousness with your breath, and breathe into the body so you can build spaciousness within daily. So you can CHOOSE for yourself what you are responding with during conflict when your parasympathetic nervous system is active. You can choose now because your baseline of calmness, peace, and capacity to maintain that state is higher now and therefore you are able to interact with an increasingly larger amount of conflict and chaos without becoming entangled in it.
With this, you bring mindful aware energy into the relational field so that you are not collapsing internally into the inner chaos of the 4 F responses of your primal body/nervous system (where your body is on auto-pilot and moving in the engrained neuropathways you have already habitually established). Instead, you draw from the power of spacious breath that you have consistently practiced daily. You are now able to alchemize, destroy what is old, and create something new in an upgraded frequency of light and energy that holds to energies of love, devotion, respect, etc.
I can guarantee your relational conflicts will change and evolve from this practice of developing space for yourself, without even addressing anything specifically with your husband/lover.
The amount of love and passion you can hold in your relationship is correlated to how well you handle conflicts and reduce / prevent any damages from occurring during conflicts and rifts that are entirely unnecessary. These conflicts can be "prevented" when you are no longer under control of the body’s responses, but are now the driving force directing your body and working with your body to move through energy and turbulent emotions.
When this occurs, you will begin to alchemize deeply and start removing certain energies out of the relational field entirely that hinder love because they collapse into war, and move into love & passion in a true devotional union.
You are now Mistress of Chaos, bestowed with Shakti’s grace & blessed with a love that touches the depths of your spirit and enriches your life.
***
Start with a daily practice.
I would also recommend a daily intuitive movement practice.
Keep a journal where you observe how certain emotions manifest within your body.
How does XYZ emotion feel in your body? Where do you feel this emotion?
And begin learning how to **feel** the emotions and move with this energy **within** the body.
***
Esoterically and within astrology, developing this habitual practice activates and strengthens your 6th house. This is considered the House of Bad Fortune in traditional astrology. It rules matters of health & work, such as diseases and subordinates/servitude.
Typically, people who are wealthy & affluent work less at the level of the 6th house, in servitude *under* others. Those with debilitated health, such as a diabetic, need to exert effort and energy into 6th house matters and bring in healthy habits, exercise, a good diet, etc to rectify this house and have a healthy body. When your habits are lacking, over time (Saturn) this reveals the lack of strength in your 6th house. This domain is also where one overcomes their enemies (those that exert their will upon you).
Nestled between the house of Good Fortune (creativity & pleasure), the 5th house where a creative outlet of energy is “birthed”, and the house of Setting (partnerships & marriage), the 7th house where one meets their opposite and must learn to navigate differences in the field of unions, the 6th house is the house where fortune is “whittled” down. The creative spark from the 5th house is now tested for all weakness and dis-ease (where one is separated from truth & does not practice maintenance of energetic flows). You are having the fortune (creativity of the spirit) chipped away at in the 6th, all criticisms, objections, obstacles, and challenges will be brought up here in the 6th before it is “approved” into the realm of union to be shared with the other in the 7th.
When the 6th house is weak, consistency or maintenance of energy is NOT being done. If the 5th house is our house of creations, the 6th is of sustaining those creations with daily practices and habits, and the 7th would be where the individual energy is “destroyed” to be created anew in merging / partnering with others. This destruction could also be seen as an expansion beyond the individual into the other.
Part of consistency is having a solid grasp of our value system, the 2nd house (values).
The values we have (2nd house) are what we create (5th) through our daily habits (6th). This is also seen as work, so fruitful work is done when we are aware and connected to those energies and funneling them into proper expressions.
You can strengthen your 6th house by caring for a pet which is also signified by the 6th house. You can also strengthen this house by studying and understanding your enemies and weaknesses. Often people hate to hear their faults and shortcomings, which is solely to their detriment. Criticizing the self where it needs improvement has value for growth. Consistency is built from reducing weaknesses or the energy that “drains” our efforts through Bad Fortune; “illness, indenture, toil, hardship, poor health.”
This home is the Joy of Mars (the warrior). Mars loves violence and bloodshed and to do so, one must go to war, to fight, and encounter enemies, which is all 6th house domains. The warrior is strengthened through war. Strengthening the weaknesses you have in this home makes you less susceptible to the influence of enemies; within you (as bad habits, ill management of your energy) and around you. In doing so, you can maintain consistency toward the fruits of the efforts that you desire.
While the 5th house is the lustrous creativity we create and nurture, the 6th is the battlefield we encounter from enemies who seek to steal what is rightfully ours. When you know the enemy and you know how to defeat the enemy, you know how to move forward and sustain what you have created and defend and can now share it with those you deem worthy.
If you are not consistently sustaining what you have obtained, you are losing it and it is being drained from you by those that you have allowed in to steal & rot your fruits.
xo
