Finding yourself? A myth. Do this instead
Sketch for the panel “Springtime” for the Bakhchi-Dere villa in Yalta (1899) | Jan Ciągliński (Polish, 1858 - 1913)
You can absolutely disagree with my perspective and that is totally okay!
I believe this article will deeply resonate if you are ready to hear the message and in a similar part of your journey.
I have come to an understanding about “finding” yourself, which is so prevalent in our society, that I desire to share with you.
Perhaps it will strike a chord of wisdom within you of remembrance.
And maybe it will not. We are all different with so many different viewpoints.
I trust you will discern for yourself.
The Myth
Finding yourself is a myth.
As you are now, you exist. You simply are.
You do not need to “find” yourself in this moment, do you?
What happens is that you bring yourself into the pure presence of you, which is not the ego, the personality, the self, but rather is the invisible, intangible, unchanging, observing consciousness.
There is a “you” beneath the emotions and the thoughts that is experiencing them.
When you are in a state of relaxation and calmness, it is easiest to experience that you simply exist.
You may be in an ever unfolding evolution and journey with yourself; understanding yourself deeper and loving yourself more, but you are never something that is “lost”, you are already existing, so you are here.
Why we feel lost
Feeling lost, confused, and aimless isn’t because you are lost.
You are still you, existing without effort, right now.
These are feelings that come from a lack of relationship with yourself.
When you know yourself through
your talents,
your skills,
your unique gifts & perspective,
how/what you can contribute to the world,
your desires,
your dreams,
your strengths,
& your weaknesses,
then you will feel deeply embodied in yourself and your soul essence.
From this place, we never feel lost or that we need to “find ourselves” and “find our purpose” because we are with ourself in a deeply nourishing and loving relationship.
We have not abandoned ourselves or compromised ourself and hidden our light.
We are present. We are here.
Why finding yourself is a myth
Finding is an energy of something being lost.
And finding yourself means some part of you is lost and is something that will spontaneously and miraculously be discovered, delivered to you by a magical wishing dragon or a genie!
When you are in an energy of finding, you cannot be in an energy of having.
You must step out of the energy of searching for something, yourself, and come into a realization that there is nothing to search for because you are here.
Therefor, you move into the energy of having.
If you are in an energy of finding, you will endlessly be here until you move out of this energy because the whole concept of finding yourself is the mental illusion of a limited human perspective.
So, if you’re not finding yourself, what then?
As I’ve mentioned above, you do not need to find yourself when you are with yourself and have a loving relationship with the self.
When you have that, the “finding” energy disappears because you have chosen to come into the now moment and have chosen to be with yourself.
From this place, the energy of finding yourself transforms into a building yourself and allowing yourself to unfold and witness your own evolution.
There is a big difference between the two energies.
The Difference
Finding yourself is an endless, difficult struggle happening in the perceptions of the mind.
Building, allowing, & witnessing yourself requires a deep, soulful connection with yourself.
There are so many layers in the later of soulful strength, love, reflection, acceptance, perseverance, and exploration.
So, what do we do then?
Allow yourself to unfold.
Take life as an exploration, an embodiment of loving yourself and getting to know yourself.
Of taking risks and leaps and walking into the unknown uncertainties of life with a deep love and belief in yourself.
No matter what, you will always come out stronger. You will grow, you will break open, you will know yourself better, and you will learn.
Build yourself up
I believe there’s a misbelief that we must know 100%, that we must feel ready 100% before taking action.
But you will never be ready if you wait.
Take action anyways and build up your strengths, build up your weaknesses.
Building ourselves also looks like travelling into the “weak” spots within our foundation; so the fears, the vulnerabilities, the doubts, the ego shadows. Also known as “our negativity”.
“There is great power here, great treasures awaiting in secret reward for your bravery, for your strength, and your willingness to travel into the dark of the night and bring forth your light of love and consciousness within. ”
What does this look like?
I’m not handing out exact formulas for how this will look like for you.
There are billions of us on this one blue and green pebble floating in space, a one-size-fits-all approach won’t work for something that is so personal and intimate.
Of course there are suggestions for getting to know yourself better and exploring what lights you up.
But prescribing to you is exactly the mindless problem.
Less needing formulas, step-by-steps, and logical answers and more coming into your hearts and listening, nourishing, getting curious, and trying things out.
What does that look like for you?
Only you can know by exploring and building upon the answers that come from within.
Happy Exploring!
I hope you enjoyed this article. I absolutely loved writing it for you and sharing my own perspective on the myth of finding yourself.
We are in a constant exploration of ourselves. That is our human nature and it’s beautiful.
Build upon what works and what feels good for you. Have fun exploring and getting intimate with yourself!
I’m curious, what has stirred within your thoughts from this article? Let me know.
Have you struggled with finding yourself before? How does the switch to exploring and building yourself feel?
Feel free to leave a comment below :)
XOXO
Gurjot
